I am Fat, Passionless, and Ugly! Story of Ari's Life

Why can't I look like Jake?  So he says, Mummo can't talk about him because she is perfect but I am free to complain because I am fat and he is perfect.  FML.  If only, my biggest problem was what I am going to wear for the photo shoot I would not have much to complain about. But instead, I am a fat, passionless, failure. Coming to terms with the simple fact that I will NEVER, I repeat NEVER look like Jake is shitty! THIS is EXACTLY why I have not come to terms with it yet! I mean I could not eat for a year, and still have an ass the size of Texas. He takes a shit and looses 8 pounds, I eat an apple and I gain 10! Explain to me how this is possible? I run 6 miles, 7 days a week, barely eat and Jake just had a 3x3 with animal style fries, and he is taking his ripped, perfect self to a photo shoot, and I won't eat for three days and the only place I am going is fat camp! 

I have wanted to be in the acting world my whole life. Jake has only recently wanted to be a model, only because Mummo and i said that he should. He goes to get a job at the last minute and the next thing you know BAM, he gets a gig.  Don't get me wrong, i am happy for him and wish nothing but the best, BUT at some point life has to throw me a bone. I mean shit, i feel like Kathy Griffin, i work twice as hard to get half as far. This is my life on the D list no the F list for fat loser.  So yeah, i have many issues. But that isn't a shocker to anyone that knows me. 

Ari

"Live, learn and have faith"......so they say!

I'm Too Sexy ........

What can I say....it is fucking fantabulous to be me!  Hollister just called and YES, they want to shoot more pix of me.  

Jake

Live, Learn and Have Faith

I Can't Believe She ate the WHOLE Thing!

Okay, so when we said nothing comes between Bumples and her cake, we meant exactly that!  We knew she took her eating seriously at 26 months of age when Bumples was on In-N-Out cheeseburger number 5 and was sad it was the last one!  She started to cry like she had not eaten in a week!  That just set the pace for what was to come.  While other 4 year olds are concerned with sand boxes, puzzles, and Mc Nuggets, Bumples has what we would refer to as a cultivated palate.  There is not a morsel of food eaten in our home that she has not thoroughly inspected for taste, texture and quality before anyone else can pop it in their mouth.  Do not think you can discretely place so much as a stick of gum in your mouth without Bumple's uncanny radar for food being alerted!  She will seek you out and quiz you as to 'what is in your MOUF' until you confess and more importantly offer her some of whatever you may be chomping on!  There simply is no turn off valve inside of Bumples.  Therefore is it left to us to try and portion out her meals and treats according to what is enough for a 4 year old.  She just does not get that there is a relationship between the size of her belly and her ability to fit into all the 'tute' clothes she wants us to buy her.  While she is very apt to enthusiastically point out every perceived physical defect she spies in others, she just can not wrap her little head around the fact that there is more then a simple correlation between what one eats and the size of their thighs...... but lord help you if you are fat.  She will let you know!  Sometimes she gets desperate and it is game on !  This only happens if she is denied desert as a consequence of some sort of inappropriate behavior (which is in fact rare for the 4 year old going on 24!).  Once after such a deprivation, Bumple was found on the kitchen counter with BoBo, eating an entire apple pie!  She once stole an entire fun pack of redvines from the Bean, and stashed them in various hiding places in her room.  She has been known to deny a chocolate binge with the dark stuff smeared all over her little face!  Yikes.  But do NOT get between Bumple and her cake!  She will mow you down, walk over your face (in baby Prada), and lump you up!

Live, learn and always have faith

Minor Road Blocks

In life you will come to meet certain people who are able to penetrate your walls of protection and bring you to become vulnerable. Those people for me are few and far between. I don't trust and i don't have faith in the human kind to be truly genuine and sincere about ANYTHING. 

I just got out a long term relationship, with someone who i thought i could trust. I did not start out with that opinion, but at a certain time in a relationship, for it to go further you have to become vulnerable and that's what i did. Expecting that in return. I mean usually people only ask for what they are willing to give back to someone. At least that is what i thought. Not only did i break down and become vulnerable, which for me is HUGE, I get betrayed by the person for whom i let my walls down. That's just a slap in the fucking face. It has ruined any and all faith i have in people. 

To be dumped in general is a shitty experience to go through, especially if you genuinely  had emotions involved not just the fake running a game on someone. But lets just add being dumped on your birthday, and then be given only bull shit answers and reasons as to why you are being dumped on your birthday. So you are left with this mind fuck of emotions, and questions, and wondering what could you of possibly done wrong. Now that is a shitty gift. A gift that keeps on giving. That's what i would call that. So everyday it festers in your head and you relive every moment leading up to that point and dissecting it to see if you could see any signs of it, or maybe see what you could of done different.  I mean to be told that you are "to good of a person to be with someone like me" is total bullshit. That is the ultimate lazy ass cop out of an excuse. I mean shit, i think that it would of been easier to handle, if i was just told that i am just not into you, or i am over you, or the infatuation is over, i mean shit i would of been mad and probably thrown a punch, but still i would of gotten over that. It's a real truthful statement and really isn't truth the only thing people want from their significant others. 

Then to add to that, adding this statement, " i want you in my life, i want to be your best friend, and i want you to be mine." HAHAHAHAH.....are you kidding with this shit? You dump me on my birthday, you ruin all faith i have in people, you mind fuck me, and you want to be "Best friends" with me? Now that is some crazy bullshit. I would rather you come after me with razor blades and lemon juice. Last time i checked "friends" don't make "friends" feel disposable, and friends are truthful with each other. Friendship is what all relationships should be based off of. Friends don't fuck friends over. That's just not how it works. 

When are people going to wake up and see that, loyalty, trust, and respect are important qualities in other people. Not fake, small talk, social climbing, unemotional bullshit. Just mean what you say and say what you mean. That's really not so damn difficult and if you cant tell the truth then don't bother being any one's "friend", or significant other. 

Ari

"Live, Learn and have faith.....Maybe"